My Dearest R

It’s been nearly six months since I last spoke to you, and I still miss you terribly. I’ve realized that you unfriended me and have likely blocked all contact with me because of everything that happened between us, but that doesn’t change the fact that those things still happened. While cleaning my room, I found the book I used to write things in over the summer, and within the many pages I found things that I wrote about you. Many of the things came after we had our fight but the feelings still remain the same. I miss you and the friendship we had before “us” happened.

But was there ever really an “us”? I mean, you held my hand like there was, you’d kiss me in the moonlight and tell me how I was yours and that no one else could have me.You got jealous over any males who spoke to me or showed the slightest interest in me. Sounds a lot like you wanted “us” to be a reality, maybe as much as I did.

Yet now it’s been months upon months that I’ve tried to reach out to you, with nothing in return. Please explain to me what happened to all the promises you made me about how no matter what you were going to stay there for me? I’ve needed you over the last few months, things have fallen apart and I needed more people to talk too, but you weren’t there for me.

I want to blame you for everything that happened, I want to say that it was your fault for telling me that you liked me too, for leading me on and saying all these things about how much you wanted me, but it’s not your fault. It’s mine and mine alone. I allowed myself to listen to everything you said to me. I ignored the feeling in my gut telling me that it wasn’t going anywhere, because I was to focused on wanting it to be real because i had liked you so long. I was foolish for ever thinking that it could be more than a summer fling. I know that you’ll never read this, but I still want to say that I miss the person you let me believe you were. I miss all the late night conversations we would have, talking for what felt like hours underneath the moonlight. I hope that one day we can reconnect and be friends again. I truly miss you and your burning brown eyes.

Sincerely,

The girl with many emotions.

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