Seeing You Again

This past weekend has been hell on my heart. I had almost convinced myself that I didn’t miss you, that I didn’t like you anymore, that maybe I wasn’t actually falling in love with you, but then I had to see you again. 

Just heading your name made the familiar ping of sadness return. Then I had to deal with you not looking at me. Why wouldn’t you look at me? 

My friend said it was because it would bring back the memories, all the moments we shared together, but I think she was just trying to make me feel better about the fact that I miss you so terribly. I don’t think I’ve ever missed a guy this much. 

I can feel the sharp pain in my heart just thinking about you. I really wish you would have looked at me, said hello to me, or just wasn’t a complete jerk to me when I tried to apologize to you for everything that happened. I just want to be your friend again. 

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Valentine’s Day blues

Isn’t it funny, how on Valentine’s Day I could dream about you? The only day that I haven’t been able to deny the fact that I was falling so hard for you. I can’t believe that it’s been so many month since we last spoke. Almost six to be exact. I can still remember the way you made me feel alive, and how I truly thought you’d stick around. How foolish of me right? 

You thought that I’d be over you in no time, that I would move on and forget. I tried. Believe me I truly did try. But you made me feel more alive than I had for a while, and I don’t think my soul will ever be able to forget that. 

I’ve never been one for Valentine’s Day, and I hate it more so this year than ever before. I don’t care if we’ll never have a relationship, I just want you to be my friend again. I want you back in my life. I miss you.